As with most, when Mary and I heard that Whitney Houston had passed away we were saddened and immediately turned on the news to find out the details. Though I have appreciated her singing for many years, for Mary it was total shock and sadness as she remembers the music and the voice, and wanting to sound just like Whitney. Since society has had to deal with losing some of our dearest and most talented artists in the last year, as I watched the news hoping to catch the details, there was a part of me that just hoped and prayed we wouldn't hear anything that would further tarnish the questionable reputation of this superstar. I wanted to let her, as was immediately tweeted by millions, just RIP.

Knowing the desire we all have for information I don't think the media will just let Whitney rest in peace. The same people who have celebrated her amazing talent and pristine voice, will be the ones digging to get down to what caused her death. And we will be channel surfing to hear the latest, knowing Bobby is somehow still connected to all of this. Oh how we love to point the finger of blame, and you better believe we'll be seeing and hearing more about Bobby Brown.

My thought in this is hopefully that in our mourning we will gain something from this loss, since after all, we're supposed to live and learn. In processing the images and news stories, I find myself wanting to appreciate and remember Whitney's early years. The years she sang with grace and her voice literally pierced our souls while tiny beads of sweat formed across her upper lip. Those were the days, the songs and the sounds of Whitney I want to remember. Which makes me realize I was more in touch with her gift than I was with her. It wasn't Whitney I loved, it was her voice. And herein lies the lesson. Yes, gifts and talents are a beautiful thing to have as they add so much to our lives and to the world around us. But what happens when our star no longer shines so bright? What then do we have to offer life and the ones we love?

I find myself struggling with this issue in our society today, with some trying to convince themselves that life is just about their gifting. Please don't try to sell us on how good you are as a person just by performing with your gift. Yes, we love your gift, but that's only what you do. What about who you are? That means more to us than what you do, because what you do is simply a show...a performance...a gig and a demonstration of a God-given gift. But all shows must come to an end one day. And yes, we enjoy celebrating your gift, but even more than that, we need to respect your life.

The danger in making life simply about our gifts rather than our character, is that we'll find ourselves leaving a trail of brokenness and tragedy as we proceed through life. Those we've wanted to help with our gift are only set up for hurt when our life isn't able to keep us at the place our talent has brought us to. Though our fans may be the judge of our gifts, our family will be the judge of our lives. How sad would it be to breeze through life with the cheers of the thousands, while the cry of the few that really matter, goes unnoticed. When it's all said and done, it's the health and well being of those closest to us that will testify to the kind of person we are. It won't be the fickle fans who have moved on and find another star to chase.

I'm glad to have lived during the Whitney Houston era. She was a starlet. A talented, beautiful, yet conflicted soul. From what I understand, her early years found her singing in the church choir, which may be the reason I enjoyed her so much in the movie, The Preacher's Wife. I just wonder what her life would have looked like had she stayed close to those early ties? I only wish her life was bigger than her gift.

RIP Whitney Elizabeth Houston (August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012).

To honor her memory, tell me your favorite Whitney Houston song.

There is a picture that still haunts me to this day. It was taken while I was attending Rockway Middle School when I was 14 years old, and talk about not flattering. We use it today every so often around the house just to keep the rats away, it is that bad of a pic. That one sole picture almost ruined me for the next five years as I ventured through High School. It sure enough kept my parents from having to worry about me and girls, as it just destroyed any ounce of self-confidence I had as a teenage boy.

If you saw the blockbuster movie "The Help" last year, you couldn't help but be enamored by the work of actress Viola Davis, who plays a middle-aged black maid named Aibileen Clark. She and the young white journalist, Skeeter, come together to write a controversial book from the point of view of the maids (known as the Help), exposing the racism they are faced with as they work with white families during the Civil Rights era in America during the early 1960's.

Just as she came out in the movie with an Oscar nominating performance, she's done it again on the cover of the current issue of L. A. Times Magazine, only this time it's a stunning look at the actress in her short, all natural, hair, decked out in an elegant designer dress. And this time, it's her hair that is stirring quite a buzz. No wig, just pure Viola, and she's beautiful from head to toe.

Most of the time I enjoy sharing my perspective on life from a more manly angle, since much of my inspiration comes from the world of sports, but maybe the Womanity event from last week is still causing a hormonal stir as two women in the headlines these past two days have captured my attention. One is the beautiful woman who happens to be married to superstar stud quarterback, Tom Brady. After the Super Bowl on Sunday, Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen, called out her husband’s receivers after the game for their dropped passes. Now, everybody knows that's definitely not the smart thing to do when your man loses a game, especially the Super Bowl. Okay, not her greatest moment, but perhaps understandable as she was standing by her man. Do a careful google image search of the Victoria Secret Model, and you'll see what Tom and every other man in the world sees in her. Now, do the same search for Viola Davis and though you will see a superstar actress, you won't see a super model. Her images highlight her beautiful face and smile, and her many wig hair styles.

What I find so ironic with the L. A. Times Magazine is that finally a magazine editor chose to applaud a woman for just letting her true self show. Yes, Viola is decked out in an elegant designer ensemble, but it's her hair that is getting all the attention. The fact that she is not wearing a wig, but instead letting her natural hair show is stirring the conversation and trending on social media.

Why is that so refreshing? Because finally we can compliment someone for just being themselves and that's good enough. When I look at the magazine cover, I see a confident woman that's comfortable in her skin, and short hair. When a woman's hair is her beauty, Viola is saying my beauty goes beyond what you see. I'm afraid we're putting so much emphasis on the exterior that we're missing the beauty that comes from a deeper place. Yes, there will always be super models who get our attention, even for the wrong reason, but there's also that special image in all people that makes them super as well. We just need to let it out.

Let me encourage you to make a note to self the next time you're trying to measure up to some image of beauty our society is forcing on you: Don't let the pressure of looks keep you from being you. Walk in who God made you. Celebrate who you are, and be daring enough to simply be yourself. For that's the image everyone is waiting to see, the real you.

What will they come up with next? I'm talking book titles, or course. So Mary and I are watching the Today show the other day and they're interviewing the authors of a book titled, "Taming Your Alpha B_ _ _ h". How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything you Want). Did I say it was a book written by women for women? Watching the interview led by women, I was wondering if there were any men on the set and if so, how uncomfortable that shoot must have been.

At least that was my initial thought as a book with a title like this first made me think of the old, mean spirited feminine movement. But this is the ultimate example of you can't tell a book by it's cover...or at least it's title. Actually, the cover is quite classy with its beautiful pink high heel shoe. Even better is the content as authors Christy Whitman and Rebecca Grado have nailed it. Here's what you'll find on Amazon: "In many areas women have earned the equality we’ve been fighting for. We’ve broken through glass ceilings and achieved great success. We’ve shown that we can prosper by our own means. And we’ve become influential, respected leaders. Yet many of us find ourselves unhappy, anxious, overwhelmed. Where’s the pot of gold at the end of our “I can do it just like a man” rainbow?"

Honestly, I've been worried for my three daughters and their future as it seems like femininity has changed over the years, or at least it has for some in society that evidently have missed out on being a real woman. The women I'm surrounded by and work with everyday, and the ladies I've known all my life have never had to worry about their Alpha B_ _ _ _h, because they aren't one. Not that they're not fierce leaders in their own line of work, because each of them have accomplished great exploits and have done so while staying married and raising children, which shows you the fight they have on the inside of them. Yet it's their grace, sweet & gentle spirit with which they go about their work and lives that has allowed them to get what they want out of life.

I realize what I'm saying here will provoke some to cry foul and hate while claiming I'm a male chauvinist, but all I can say is the proof is seen in the women in my life. Has life been easy for them? Not at all, but to see how they dealt with the stuff that has come their way demonstrates a strength that comes from a place of beautiful grace and femininity. It's their Womanhood that makes them strong. All woman, all loving, all kind, all embracing and caring, and all able to handle life.

Less you think this is not true, I would invite you to check out a gathering of these courageous and beautiful women coming up this week. Over 600 of them will be gathering in South Florida from all over the US to celebrate their Womanity. One such woman is a Rabbi who left her homeland as a young girl and came to the United States to establish her life. Today she travels across the globe raising awareness and support for hospitals and orphanages in Israel. Another courageous beautiful woman has been able to fight through the challenges of the streets and drug addiction and today reaches into the inner city with a message of compassion and hope. She's also the mother of one of the NBA's brightest superstars. And another simply gorgeous woman is the one I get to sleep with every night. Talk about fierce...she stood there for over 40 minutes with great faith while I endured a Heart Attack a few years back, and while the paramedics hit me seven times with the pads just to keep me alive, she never gave up faith and prayed me through it all.

These women and many more like them each share some of the most inspiring lives as they've been able to tackle life head on with an inner strength that comes from the unique beings they were created to be. They're proud of their Womanity and embrace their femininity, not needing to compete with the men of society. They've encountered death, divorce, depression and heart-break, yet have remained strong in their skin of sweetness. The stuff they've had to endure will no doubt cause many of them to cry when they get together this week, but in and through their tears they'll find themselves even stronger.

I hope true femininity is making a comeback in our society, and evidently it is, as the numbers for the Womanity conference are climbing every day. It shows us that woman all over are looking for something more, after experiencing what society has tried to sell them. The future's looking up for my three little ladies!

True women of strength need to be honored and celebrated, so please share with me a story of the special ladies you have encountered in your life.