No Secret at Victoria's Secret

So the Pink Elephant at any Mall in America is this store that just shouts and screams at you from the moment you walk by to come in and check out their merchandise. Doesn't matter how spiritual one thinks they are, it's close to impossible to not notice the advertisement and displays as you scroll by, unless you're totally blind. I, of course, try my best to keep my gaze straight forward, fearing God might strike me with some horrid disease for looking, or that the three young ladies in the family would rise up in solidarity against me in support of their mom. It's good to have a 20 year old son in times like this.

But it's Christmas and this is the one time of the year where Mary and the girls give me a free pass to enter the store so that I can buy my wife nice pajamas. Off I went to the adult theme park as though I was just given a day pass to Disney World, to begin my shopping spree.

"Pajamas, pajamas, pajamas", I kept telling myself, that's all you're looking for. As I approach the entrance of the store, I give a quick glance over my shoulder to be sure no one is watching me. "That's weird", I thought. "Why should that bother you? You're a married man and you can go into this store and any other if you want." When I was sure no one was looking, I made my way in under the cover of a group of loud teens across the way. The distraction was perfect, so feeling in the clear I snuck in like I owned the place but was immediately met with a "Can I help you?" Looking up at the sales associate a little voice goes off in my head, "Careful Steve, just don't look her in the eyes." Of course this lady can help me, but a "no thank you" came out of my mouth. Quickly I move through the displays trying to find what I thought Mary would want, better yet, what I would want Mary to want. This is why I'm here, right? I mean, I'm shopping in this beautiful store for my beautiful wife. But why is it I can't wait to leave when I have just walked in?

Oddly, I start feeling like every eye in the store is focusing on me. "Why is he here? Who is he buying for? How old is his little girlfriend on the side?" Now I'm so aware of myself that I'm even afraid to look up at the ads on display fearing I'm being watched by a group of women that look like my mother across the store judging my every move. Great, I finally found what I'm looking for. Now it's time to get out of here. Making my way to the cash register I can't believe this store has only one register open. Are you kidding me? In a store this big, there should be at least another check-out station somewhere, but no. Today it's just one, and it's loaded with five women standing in line, and there I find myself standing in the back of the line, the only man in the store I may add, waiting while these women peak at me and whisper to each other judging my purchase as I try to hide them in my hands. "Oh Jesus", I think to myself, "I need a quiet, shy checker-outer to get me out of here fast." But it's not to be, as the girl behind the register wants to strike up a conversation about my shopping experience. What am I supposed to say? What am I supposed to think? What is she really thinking about my purchase as she holds them up in the air looking for the price tag, yet making a public announcement over the intercom to everyone in the store see what Mr. Alessi has just bought.

She's kind enough to ask if I'd like her to wrap my selection to which I give a quick nod of yes. Slowly she pulls out the boxes and carefully sets the cute, pink paper in while folding the contents neatly into place. She's saying something, but all I see are her lips moving. I suspect she's paying me a compliment about my selection, so I make it quite obvious how much I know my WIFE will love what her HUSBAND has given her at Christmas.

"That wasn't so bad", I thought, and before you know it I'm heading out the door with a huge pink and red striped box in hand with the words Victoria's Secret in gold letters plastered across the front. Now all I need to do is get through the crowded Mall and to my car without everyone I pass judging me. The sweet lady at Kay Jewelers didn't help matters. I guess my blimp sized box caught her attention because she asked me if I would like some jewelry to go along with my new purchase. "Wow, that sure seemed like an eternity," I thought. But as I looked my watch I realized I had just experienced the slowest 10 minutes of my life.

On this PrayDay, think through what's causing you to experience undue shame. Failures of the past don't have to become a dirty little secret that constantly causes us to feel uncomfortable with our lives, out of step with God, or even out of place in Church. Misplaced guilt will cripple us all and keep us from freely enjoying our lives. I'm thankful the little boy in a Manger came to give us a guilt free life, and if we're not in the wrong, then let's live our lives to the fullest in the right.