Steve Alessi: Author of Alessi’s Angle, Pastor of Metro Life Church in Miami, Husband of World Renown Worship Leader Mary Alessi and Father of Four. 
This year my wife and I will celebrate being married for 25 years, but recently two pieces of jewelry could have put that winning record in jeopardy. Kind of ironic, really, that within three weeks of each other these foreign jewels would appear seemingly out of nowhere and though they didn't cause immediate damage, the ramifications could have been painful and have serious repercussions.
The first piece unearthed itself in the center compartment of my truck. As Mary and I were headed home after work a couple weeks before Christmas, we stopped off at the grocery store to pick up milk. Neither one of us had small bills on us for the quick one item pick-up, so I went for my hidden stash that I've stored up for times like these. I dropped her off at the front door so she could run in while I parked the car and went to cleaning out the trash that accumulates in the hidden region of automobile center compartment and came across a rope like looking necklace with a gold feather on it. I set it to the side as I went on cleaning figuring Mary would be happy to see her lost jewels. When she came back to the vehicle, first thing I said was, "look what I found?" And she replied; "That's not mine. Whose is it?" At first I didn't think or feel anything out of the ordinary as I assumed it belonged to one of my girls, until she asked again; "Whose is it?" Thankfully, as I looked her way, she was smiling.
The second piece of jewelry was a ring and it showed up in our bathroom just last week. When I saw it sitting on the counter I asked Mary whose it was and she didn't know. We assumed it belonged to our dear friend that helps us out around the house during the week. A couple days later while getting ready for bed Mary said to me; "Steve, I asked Mariela about the ring and she said it's not hers. She said she found it on the lamp stand next to our bed."
STOP. This moment right here is huge. Can't skim over it or even make light of it because it's at moments like this that marriages can end. Right here the 25 years we've spent together could have taken a hit, but it didn't because of one thing. Trust. Thankfully, over these last 25 years together both Mary and I have showed each other that we are trustworthy spouses so when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other. And that trust has been established in our relationship because over the years when life became difficult, we Truthfully Responded Under Stress Together and overcame the challenge. And so, the conversation ended right there and the search for who lost a ring that ended up in our bedroom continues.
I want 2012 to be a year of building Championship Lives and my goal is to provide the resources to those around me to help them do just that. One discipline true Champs embrace is taking personal responsibility for their lives, as they know if it's to be...then it's up to me. So here's the question on this day: Are you a trustworthy person? Can others put their faith in you and their money on you? Make this a year that when the going gets tough, you'll be the kind of person that Truthfully Responds Under Stress Together with those around you so you can live the #Champlife.
Tell me something about you. Where's your strength zone that others trust you in?
Love this... "when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other."
Ana & I are going on 18 years and I don't remember exactly when it was (maybe 7 or 8 years in) but the trust factor was settled once and for all. We follow the phrase that I copied above and I truly believe it is the biggest reason (besides God) that we have come this far. We ALWAYS give the benefit of the doubt because we each have earned it over time.
The sad part is that some marriages give up before they get to that place of freedom, faith and trust.
GREAT BLOG !!!
Very Interesting! Is that the ring I lost? Your adoring mother-in-law, Faith Fredrick
Great Blog!... Definitely without trust in a relationship there is nothing! once we learn to trust each other, things like these can be easily discussed.
I will memorize this one, "when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other."
TRUST! This was a work in progress for me, for many years. Not only towards my husband but anyone that would try to get too close. I always felt like they had a hidden agenda. Which resulted in me being this "ALone Ranger". But thank God for Impact Group Classess in MLC, and prayer warriors...I AM NO LONGER THAT PERSON!
Most importantly, Lamont and I know that has long as we keep God in the center of our marriage, we will celebrate 18 years like Ana & Armando, 25 years like our Pastors Steve & Mary.
Our 4 year anniversary is coming up in March and we will continue to fight the good fite.
I can honestly admit that I HAD "major" trust issues. Unfortunately, my past as well as childhood were the cause. But, God is good for HE redeemed me from Hang Ups! This HIT home and was a quick reminder how He's ABLE to change you right round! My favorite part "Make this a year that when the going gets tough, you'll be the kind of person that Truthfully Responds Under Stress Together with those around you so you can live the #Champlife." OOOH OOOH (Arnold Horshack imitation) ....Thanks for once again telling it like it is!
I will memorize this one, "when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other."
TRUST! This was a work in progress for me, for many years. Not only towards my husband but anyone that would try to get too close. I always felt like they had a hidden agenda. Which resulted in me being this "ALone Ranger". But thank God for Impact Group Classess in MLC, and prayer warriors...I AM NO LONGER THAT PERSON!
Most importantly, Lamont and I know that has long as we keep God in the center of our marriage, we will celebrate 18 years like Ana & Armando, 25 years like our Pastors Steve & Mary.
Our 4 year anniversary is coming up in March and we will continue to fight the good fite.
Excellent blog Pastor Steve!! Mike and I are also going to be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary this year in June.
Trust, Faith, Communication and Spontaneity are the main components that have truly made our marriage work for us. Although we are 18 years apart, no one would really know it, because of how we are both "old souls" and "kids at heart".
We've had our share of "Whose is it?" or "Who was that on the phone", but like you said, "when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other."
Take Care and God Bless
Jeannette and Mike Abarca
Let me tell you a story. My hubby went to the gun range with a couple of friends. Since the hubbies were going to the shooting range, we, the wives, decided that we should also do something together - go shopping (of course) -during which one of my friends ended up buying a designer purse. When it was time to meet the hubbies later, I happened to be carrying the designer shopping bag for my friend. Upon seeing the shopping bag, the 2 other husbands reacted and said 'oh no'; but my husband did not. I asked him later why he didn't react, and his words were "because I know you". (He knows that I'm responsible with our finances)
Trust is the foundation of every relationship... and trust comes from knowing each other.
Pastor
Great Blog! I have been told that Loyalty is one of my strengths. Loyalty is not a popular word in today's vocabulary. I've seen far to many marriage's and friendships bail when it becomes a little rocky in the relationship. I am thankful to be surrounded by marriages like yours, that live "Loyalty"! Thank you for being the example!
The #ChampLife is a road worth taking. We’ve got one chance at this life and as #MLCfeedsme through @SteveAlessi I know these challenges will make 2012 count in my life!
Your acronym for TRUST is right on… Truthfully Responded Under Stress Together has to begin at the core. I love how you hear from God and don’t sugar coat it; even if I’m a girl. Truth is truth and I’m ready for more!
Thank you Pastor for sharing this with us. Trust is so important in any relationship and is very much needed if you want that relationship to last. My Heavenly Father is helping me to trust again without fear of getting hurt (like so many times in my past). I'm so thankful to the Lord for having you and Pastor Mary in my life as a great example of how a real and healthy marriage should be. You truly fill me with hope for my future. God bless you always!
Yes, trust is a vital element in a relationship. My strength zone is honesty and directness. I try to live by the motto "say what you mean, and mean what you say." I'm clinging my jewelry together right now as I say here's to you for another great blog. I like the suspense and mystery theme this time.
Armando, Yes...Ana must be a saint. No, not true. You guys are a great team! Keep turning to each other.
Mother-in-law, Faith, You've taught Mary well. She was just happy with the new jewelry...
Otto, You're about to see just how true that is when you marry your beautiful Madelyn.
Michele, Keep trusting and good things will continue to happen with you and Lamont. He's a good man!
Jeanette, You and Mike can make it another 25. He's young at heart!!
Jescel, I'm sure Mary would have brought the bag.
Yes Dez, your loyalty is part of the reason we're able to do what we can!
Ana, And I love how you picked up on the acronym for TRUST. You must be a teacher.
Aisha, It's the grace of God that empowers us past our past. Keep trusting!
Janet, We're all trying to get past a few things in order to get to one thing...and that's God's will for our lives.
Yo, I think most of Mary's jewelry comes from someone we know...
Wow!!! Great blog :) Thank u!
"when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other"
I have found that most people my age don't do this simple thing. Maybe because alot of people in their 20's and 30's were the TV generations and have learned to enjoy drama before trying to solve the problem and trust each other when things occur. They are all looking for someone to blame when something just doesn't feel right, and because of the fast access to information that we, as a people, have all become used to, someone is responsible and we have to know NOW.
If you can't trust who you love/are married to then that bond and that turning towards each other just will not happen. There is alot of value to the saying, "Without trust there is no love." Because it is that trust, that reliablity, that sense of responsiblity to each other and your vows, that builds that bond between you and your mate.
Thank you for sharing with us, and making me think Pastor Steve.
Crystal, I like your thoughts here. May we not be one of those who are out to blame someone when things don't seem right! Keep trusting and loving. PS
Why didn't I read this sooner??!?!?!? But then again, it came just in time. Just what I needed to hear! Thanks Pastor!
Ari