Steve Alessi: Author of Alessi’s Angle, Pastor of Metro Life Church in Miami, Husband of World Renown Worship Leader Mary Alessi and Father of Four. 
There is a picture that still haunts me to this day. It was taken while I was attending Rockway Middle School when I was 14 years old, and talk about not flattering. We use it today every so often around the house just to keep the rats away, it is that bad of a pic. That one sole picture almost ruined me for the next five years as I ventured through High School. It sure enough kept my parents from having to worry about me and girls, as it just destroyed any ounce of self-confidence I had as a teenage boy.
If you saw the blockbuster movie "The Help" last year, you couldn't help but be enamored by the work of actress Viola Davis, who plays a middle-aged black maid named Aibileen Clark. She and the young white journalist, Skeeter, come together to write a controversial book from the point of view of the maids (known as the Help), exposing the racism they are faced with as they work with white families during the Civil Rights era in America during the early 1960's.
Just as she came out in the movie with an Oscar nominating performance, she's done it again on the cover of the current issue of L. A. Times Magazine, only this time it's a stunning look at the actress in her short, all natural, hair, decked out in an elegant designer dress. And this time, it's her hair that is stirring quite a buzz. No wig, just pure Viola, and she's beautiful from head to toe.
Most of the time I enjoy sharing my perspective on life from a more manly angle, since much of my inspiration comes from the world of sports, but maybe the Womanity event from last week is still causing a hormonal stir as two women in the headlines these past two days have captured my attention. One is the beautiful woman who happens to be married to superstar stud quarterback, Tom Brady. After the Super Bowl on Sunday, Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen, called out her husband’s receivers after the game for their dropped passes. Now, everybody knows that's definitely not the smart thing to do when your man loses a game, especially the Super Bowl. Okay, not her greatest moment, but perhaps understandable as she was standing by her man. Do a careful google image search of the Victoria Secret Model, and you'll see what Tom and every other man in the world sees in her. Now, do the same search for Viola Davis and though you will see a superstar actress, you won't see a super model. Her images highlight her beautiful face and smile, and her many wig hair styles.
What I find so ironic with the L. A. Times Magazine is that finally a magazine editor chose to applaud a woman for just letting her true self show. Yes, Viola is decked out in an elegant designer ensemble, but it's her hair that is getting all the attention. The fact that she is not wearing a wig, but instead letting her natural hair show is stirring the conversation and trending on social media.
Why is that so refreshing? Because finally we can compliment someone for just being themselves and that's good enough. When I look at the magazine cover, I see a confident woman that's comfortable in her skin, and short hair. When a woman's hair is her beauty, Viola is saying my beauty goes beyond what you see. I'm afraid we're putting so much emphasis on the exterior that we're missing the beauty that comes from a deeper place. Yes, there will always be super models who get our attention, even for the wrong reason, but there's also that special image in all people that makes them super as well. We just need to let it out.
Let me encourage you to make a note to self the next time you're trying to measure up to some image of beauty our society is forcing on you: Don't let the pressure of looks keep you from being you. Walk in who God made you. Celebrate who you are, and be daring enough to simply be yourself. For that's the image everyone is waiting to see, the real you.
BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO PASTOR! Thank you for this! This brought back memories of my younger years in which I had many self identity issues as well as very low self esteem. Unfortunately my dear grandmother from my dad's side (who was white) though she loved me to death in her ignorance always pointed out that my features were to thick "don't wear lip liner it'll make your lips too big" or stating that white was beautiful as she would look at my eldest son and his cheeks were blush red. Not allowing me to ever have a black barbie or ANY black doll at that (that was traumatizing for me took many years of therapy). Throughout my childhood and into my teenage years I struggled with WHO I was. I was to black for the Hispanics and my features and hair was to different to mix with the blacks. I constantly looked into the mirror and was confused and to the point where I wasn't comfortable in my own skin, but one day a preacher said these words "GOD LOVES YOU....YOU" he said it in such a special way that dug so deep into my soul I then realized I'm beautiful no matter what they say and I'm special because GOD LOVES ME the way that I am, hair, thick lips, ebony skin..I embraced who God had made. So Thank you for reminding me what GOD has done once again in my life. SO for shizzle my nizzle I am going to Celebrate ME, my skin, my hair, my features...I am fearfully and wonderfully made!
AHHHHH!!! Hit it right on the money AGAIN! Thanks for this post Pastor!
We all need to be reminded of this important message because trying to look/be/act like something we are not can be quite honestly exhausting and ends up defeating the purpose of trying to be beautiful on someone else's terms. So its time to relax and let God's beauty shine through us. By the way, the dress worn by Viola in this beautiful picture was designed by no other than the Thierry Mugler, the creator of the Womanity perfume :)
This was lovely. Thank you for reminding us to be ourselves.
Pastor, you are definitely glowing in the aftermath of Womanity--may it never pale. Thanks from a square peg who is no longer trying to fit that round hole. I know God has a place just my size.
Aisha, So glad you conquered that mountain and we get to enjoy your beauty. Keep telling this story. Women (and men) need to hear it.
WOW!!! could I relate... As I entered the ministry, I was assigned to a Newfoundlandian church who claims I was not like them therefore I could not be their pastor, they really didn't like me at all. It took me years to realize that I did not have to be like anyone but God. See? blacks didn't like me because I was hispanic, whites didn't like me because I was black, hispanics didn't like me because I was an outspoken woman, religious people didn't like me because I preach kingdom mentality, pentecostals didn't like me because I was methodist, methodists didn't like me because I was pentecostals, English speaking people didn't like my accent, men didn't like me because I was a woman who spoke about equality, men being men and women being women and spoke loudly about men being the priests of their household, oh well!! it went on and on. Until one day I heard the voice of God saying: "you are my daughter and I liked and loved you enough to give it all for you". That was it! I didn't have to be liked by everyone, I just needed God to be pleased with me. So thank you Pastor Steve for this blog, brought that to memory. After many years of struggling with wanted to pleased and be liked by all and almost loosing ma' mind,I was reminded by you today, God is always enough.
By the way, Pastor Steve, the previous comment was made by me, Dr. Idalmis Garcia, Aisha's mom. Somehow it did not allow me to put my name of it. As you can see I am not very good with technology, but I try. Love your blog. God bless.
Thank you very much pastor Steve, for this wonderful blog. When we as women feel loved for who we are, it is wonderful experience!!! We find freedom, freedom brings us happiness, happiness makes us smile, and a smile makes us beautiful :) Thank you again
After being 'chubby' (which is the nice way of saying FAT) from 6th grade to 12th grade, and having all kinds of issues with that (too many to list). I moved on from being boxed in the cell of what "other people think about you". Or even worse, the cell of what YOU think other people think about you. I don't remember the specific day it was (as it was very long ago), but it was from one day to the next that I got over it and was comfortable with who I was...and became FREE.
That was before God. Then God came into the picture in my early 20's and the degree of FREEDOM I enjoy in every area of my life has continued to grow.
This is a great blog; not only for the ladies but for the guys too. Guys don't talk about the pressure they feel to conform, fit-in, and be accepted, but it exists and has a huge influence over their lives.
Freedom to the Captives !!
Thank you gor posting Pastor Steve. It is refreshing and encouraging to know that there are still men who admire what a woman is on the inside and not necessarily look at solely the outside.
Iliana
Thank you Pastor! I don't know one woman who would appreciate and relate to your blog. Unfortunately, self image and preception knocks on a woman's door many times in her lifetime. At which time, she must pull from within, and know that she knows she's God perfect creation and look in the mirror and believe it. It's very, very, very hard! But with God's word in us, and friends around us that are genuine and a husband that convinces you that you are the most beautiful no matter what, we can believe the report of the Lord and not that of Victoria's, Vogue or Cosmo! Thank you for your sensitivity to this issue. And ladies - your are God's masterpiece!
What a solid Pastor! What man would not want to be lead by such a balanced man of God. I am in a blessed place in my life because of your words, balance, fairness, firmness, respect for Womanity and your sport updates! I follow more than your tweets. . .I follow your character. Thank you kindly for your leadership.
DQuest
WOW! Most certainly I read it as I am still on my WoManItY high! What a word to continue what was inspired in so many of us this past week-end. Thank you for once again the subtle reminder of being confident in whom we are in Christ, not what society dictates a woman should be.
Very well said dear Pastor! True freedom is when we love ourselves just as our Heavenly Father loves us! Just for who we are and who's we are!
Hello my paster, Isa and I saw her movie and enjoyed it. She sure does stand now for how grest she really is. After reading your blog i am blessed to feel great about myself and who i am married to. Life is great if you undertand that God has a plsn for all of us !
Well said! I love it!
I think she looks fabulous! I hope that you continue to marinade on what Womanity has brought to you because I surely am! I'm thankful that I'm reminded every day in my church that I am beautiful. From someone who has suffered from low self-esteem all her life this sure is uplifting. I have to keep reminding myself that beauty is more than just skin deep. Thanks for the reminder ;)
I love this Pastor! I've never really fit into society's molds and boxes of
classifications for many reasons, and it really use to bother me. As I've gotten older, the Lord has loved me to a great place of realization. I've discovered that I don't want to be in a box. Many of the very things that cause me to stand out are the best parts of me that I and others celebrate. The Lord has used some of those same qualities that don't "fit in" to open doors for me. I'm liking the real me more and more, and caring less and less about what the world says I should be. It's taken me years to see that I'm awesome in the skin I'm in. I'll always be a W.I.P. but I'm loving myself, my "YO-niqueness" all the way to the finish line. Thanks Pastor for the encouragement. Your blog is one of my favorite weekly reads!
Have you every written a book? You should because I've heard you, seen you preach and read all your stuff, and you speak from your heart and it shows. You are a true man of God and Pastor. God bless you for serving Him
Love, love, love, love, love!! I will try to keep this short... All I want to say is this: Never miss the opportunity to get to know someone... I mean REALLY get to know someone because they don't quite fit your "mold". You may just miss meeting the greatest person you could have ever met!!! I digress!
as someone said centuries ago, "love and beauty is within"
I love this! As I was reading this all I could think of was the younger girls in Infuz youth. All girls go through a stage of insecurities of how they see themselves and how others see them. Its crazy at how young it starts and how long it can stay. I really hope some of the infuz girls read this. I know it will inspire them because it inspired me. Thank you so much Pastor!
My favorite part:
"Walk in who God made you. Celebrate who you are, and be daring enough to simply be yourself. For that's the image everyone is waiting to see, the real you."