Steve Alessi: Author of Alessi’s Angle, Pastor of Metro Life Church in Miami, Husband of World Renown Worship Leader Mary Alessi and Father of Four. 
Apparently, someone's forgot to tell the people on the streets of Manhattan about this little known key. Just last week I was able to get away with Mary and our girls to connect with a couple of friends, do a little work, and of course take in the excitement of New York City. Walking down the sidewalks in the city that never sleeps is a challenge as mobs of people are in a hurry and the last thing on anyone's mind is being nice. On one particular corner stood a guy handing out club cards to a Comedy joint around the block. As the mob of people filled the sidewalk, he stood right in the middle yelling out his off colored, crude jokes in ear shot of everyone walking by, and after the third or fourth time of having to navigate around him, he and I came face to face. But did he move...did he say excuse me...did he kindly extend an invite to his Club...did he do anything for this tourist visiting the Big Apple? Nada, zip, not a thing. But he did look me straight in the eye and without saying a word let me know I was invading his space on the sidewalk.
Contrast that to the midnight crossing of the Canadian border. After leaving Lancaster Pennsylvania later in the day, Mary and I were determined to reach Buffalo NY before 10:00 PM. Heading up the mountainous roads and highways, we realized 300 miles across that region was a bit different from 300 miles across the flat lands of Florida, but we kept pushing through and finally reached our destination a couple hours later than we had planned. As we rolled into Buffalo we saw signs of Niagara Falls and since that was on our schedule for the next day we figured why not give the border crossing a try now rather than in the morning when traffic may be heavier. Sure enough, as we came up to the Border Patrol the lanes were empty so we choose lane number one and we were surprisingly greeted with the kindest, warmest, most welcoming female agent that asked us a few questions, checked out our passports, and had us across the border in a matter of minutes.
Honestly, I was shocked...even taken back by her nice demeanor to the point that when she started asking questions about our travel I went totally dumb, couldn't think straight, began blabbering something until Mary stepped in to rescue me from myself and answer the agent’s questions. After handing us back our passports, she gave us directions to the best hotels and hotspots of Niagara.
Now I don't usually like to boast, but I'll tell you that this Canadian Border Agent must have thought I was pretty cute as it honestly felt like she was flirting with me. I mean after leaving the bright lights of New York where the people weren't all that sweet and nice, this female Agent was sure enough letting me know I was pretty special. But evidently, according to Mary and the girls, I was wrong and she wasn't flirting with me at all. For if being nice meant people were flirting with me, then I must have been the best looking guy in Canada (which they were quick to remind me is not true) because all Canadians, both men and women, were being so nice. But it did show me two things. First, Canadians are nice people, and second, Angelo Dundee's point about being nice is true. When we're nice and kind to others, it makes them feel pretty special about themselves, and isn't that what life should be about anyway?
I'm going to try and do my best to put on nice everyday, not just on the days I'm feeling good. How about you, what are some of the things you do that helps you be nice to others?
I'm still laughing Pastor because 8 out of 10 guys might think being nice entails "I THINK YOUR CUTE" Thankfully Pastor Mary & the girls like all other women keep it real! Funny you talk about being NICE when just the other day I pointed out to someone how people now a days are becoming less and less humane! ie. I'm in the elevator (it's pretty packed) a woman w/ her child in the stroller wants to come in, the doors are about to close and sensor doesn't realize there's an object in the way and what do people do STAND THERE; I Reach out my hands and push the doors open! AMAZING I THOUGHT ..how hard is it to be nice, apparently very! So I set my alarm clock to wake me up daily at 'BE NICE' and as cliche as this may sound think WWJD? and although it's not HARD for me to be very nice (although I'm from the North)..I strive daily to make the world a better place by helping an older person with their groceries, holding a door for someone, smiling at my boss, letting someone in the next lane cut in and smiling and even give a random hug to people in my office! You'd be surprised at how much better you feel when you do something nice! Thanks again Pastor for the pointing out the little things that can make us better!
Nice blog
Man...!!! So if a lady is being nice to me it's only cuz she's nice??? Forget that!! - I will NOT believe the conspiracies and lies that the ladies in this story are trying to present. I like living in MY WORLD where people are nice to me cuz of ME and CHARM & DEMEANOR... please don't take that away; it keeps me feeling YOUNG!! -
This is an awesome story Pastor. I like to be nice; my biggest challenge is being nice when I'm tired and with the people I love the most. A lot of times, part of "letting my hair down" so to speak is acting how I'm feeling; not how I'm supposed to act. And when I'm tired I tend to get grumpy. I too am going to commit to working through that with a more effort. The people closest to me deserve the niceness even more than those that are not.
Love this blog !!! - BTW did you get a name on that agent? Niagara Falls is on my bucket list and that kind of reception would make the experience so much better. :-)
Trying to be thick skinned about you dissing my hometown Pastor! Don't get me started on Miami's lack of customer service!!!
But, true, we New Yorkers are just in too much of a hurry to care about anybody else's personal space. It is one of the reasons I left, that and the virtual death trap of the subway after 911. I try to put my nice on every morning along with my armor. In my field, I have to be nice, it's part of my job, I have stressed out students and my job is to calm them down before they 1. bother the Professor 2. Buy ammo. So, I find the nicer I am, the better I'm treated and the easier it is to deal with people. For me it's a survival tool.
Well Pastor - we took a little mini road trip this weekend to Fort Myers and Naples and boy was it nice to be with nice people. The waiter, the hostess, all seemed to enjoy serving us. Even Esther noticed, "Hey, no one honks their horn here!" It was a mental break from the "out of myself" mentality of Miami. I think we enjoyed the niceness of folks just as much as the white sandy beaches.
OMG, Pastor Steve I know exactly where and what you are talking about...LOL
I get home sick now and again, especially during this time. BUT the hustle and bustle of NYC is something that I do not miss! I knew it was time for me to make my move out of NYC, when I lost my cool on the subway on my way to work. It went something like this, I was standing on the platform of 14th Street Union Square waiting for the #4 Express train to 42nd Street, Grand Central Station. As the train is arriving I noticed that its fairly empty (I don't want or need a seat) I just want to be able to get in. WELL, the doors open and no one, I mean no one moved. Those were the people that were late to work and want to run out as soon as the doors open. BUT the entire middle of the train was empty! As I'm trying to make my way in with excuse me, excuse me...I lost it! I raised my voice as loud as I could and said "CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE "THE DOUBLE HOCKEY STICK" OUT OF THE WAY(for lack of a better word) Well, they parted the red sea, and looked at me like I was crazy! I knew that I knew it was time for me to go. I had, had enough! I remember thinking "this has never happened to me, i've been traveling on the subway since forever, i'm done!"
NOW! By the grace of God, I reside in the Sunshine State. Where being nice comes easy for me. My stress level is down...The sun is shining, the wind is blowing, the beach water is BLUE (I can see my feet) LOL...uuhh love it!
Even though I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY...I tried to never allow the rudeness and/or bad attitude of some New Yorkers (not all are like that)dicate how I would treat others. I held doors open, I smiled and said Good Morning (no response) but that didn't stop me! I'm thankful and grateful that God has given me the opportunity (not 1 but 2x) to change my environment not only for me but for my family!
Michele Summersett
I work in healthcare, and my peers constantly mock my "nice ways" and tell me I'm too nice. I help elderly people when they're lost, i chip in when they don't have enough money to pay for their lunch and the list goes on. But in reality, I like being nice to others, but like Armando said, the people closest to us don't get to see it all that much. And thats wrong! Lets practice nice at home first. Pastor Steve, you are so funny...thankyou for this blog!