As with most, when Mary and I heard that Whitney Houston had passed away we were saddened and immediately turned on the news to find out the details. Though I have appreciated her singing for many years, for Mary it was total shock and sadness as she remembers the music and the voice, and wanting to sound just like Whitney. Since society has had to deal with losing some of our dearest and most talented artists in the last year, as I watched the news hoping to catch the details, there was a part of me that just hoped and prayed we wouldn't hear anything that would further tarnish the questionable reputation of this superstar. I wanted to let her, as was immediately tweeted by millions, just RIP.

Knowing the desire we all have for information I don't think the media will just let Whitney rest in peace. The same people who have celebrated her amazing talent and pristine voice, will be the ones digging to get down to what caused her death. And we will be channel surfing to hear the latest, knowing Bobby is somehow still connected to all of this. Oh how we love to point the finger of blame, and you better believe we'll be seeing and hearing more about Bobby Brown.

My thought in this is hopefully that in our mourning we will gain something from this loss, since after all, we're supposed to live and learn. In processing the images and news stories, I find myself wanting to appreciate and remember Whitney's early years. The years she sang with grace and her voice literally pierced our souls while tiny beads of sweat formed across her upper lip. Those were the days, the songs and the sounds of Whitney I want to remember. Which makes me realize I was more in touch with her gift than I was with her. It wasn't Whitney I loved, it was her voice. And herein lies the lesson. Yes, gifts and talents are a beautiful thing to have as they add so much to our lives and to the world around us. But what happens when our star no longer shines so bright? What then do we have to offer life and the ones we love?

I find myself struggling with this issue in our society today, with some trying to convince themselves that life is just about their gifting. Please don't try to sell us on how good you are as a person just by performing with your gift. Yes, we love your gift, but that's only what you do. What about who you are? That means more to us than what you do, because what you do is simply a show...a performance...a gig and a demonstration of a God-given gift. But all shows must come to an end one day. And yes, we enjoy celebrating your gift, but even more than that, we need to respect your life.

The danger in making life simply about our gifts rather than our character, is that we'll find ourselves leaving a trail of brokenness and tragedy as we proceed through life. Those we've wanted to help with our gift are only set up for hurt when our life isn't able to keep us at the place our talent has brought us to. Though our fans may be the judge of our gifts, our family will be the judge of our lives. How sad would it be to breeze through life with the cheers of the thousands, while the cry of the few that really matter, goes unnoticed. When it's all said and done, it's the health and well being of those closest to us that will testify to the kind of person we are. It won't be the fickle fans who have moved on and find another star to chase.

I'm glad to have lived during the Whitney Houston era. She was a starlet. A talented, beautiful, yet conflicted soul. From what I understand, her early years found her singing in the church choir, which may be the reason I enjoyed her so much in the movie, The Preacher's Wife. I just wonder what her life would have looked like had she stayed close to those early ties? I only wish her life was bigger than her gift.

RIP Whitney Elizabeth Houston (August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012).

To honor her memory, tell me your favorite Whitney Houston song.

There is a picture that still haunts me to this day. It was taken while I was attending Rockway Middle School when I was 14 years old, and talk about not flattering. We use it today every so often around the house just to keep the rats away, it is that bad of a pic. That one sole picture almost ruined me for the next five years as I ventured through High School. It sure enough kept my parents from having to worry about me and girls, as it just destroyed any ounce of self-confidence I had as a teenage boy.

If you saw the blockbuster movie "The Help" last year, you couldn't help but be enamored by the work of actress Viola Davis, who plays a middle-aged black maid named Aibileen Clark. She and the young white journalist, Skeeter, come together to write a controversial book from the point of view of the maids (known as the Help), exposing the racism they are faced with as they work with white families during the Civil Rights era in America during the early 1960's.

Just as she came out in the movie with an Oscar nominating performance, she's done it again on the cover of the current issue of L. A. Times Magazine, only this time it's a stunning look at the actress in her short, all natural, hair, decked out in an elegant designer dress. And this time, it's her hair that is stirring quite a buzz. No wig, just pure Viola, and she's beautiful from head to toe.

Most of the time I enjoy sharing my perspective on life from a more manly angle, since much of my inspiration comes from the world of sports, but maybe the Womanity event from last week is still causing a hormonal stir as two women in the headlines these past two days have captured my attention. One is the beautiful woman who happens to be married to superstar stud quarterback, Tom Brady. After the Super Bowl on Sunday, Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen, called out her husband’s receivers after the game for their dropped passes. Now, everybody knows that's definitely not the smart thing to do when your man loses a game, especially the Super Bowl. Okay, not her greatest moment, but perhaps understandable as she was standing by her man. Do a careful google image search of the Victoria Secret Model, and you'll see what Tom and every other man in the world sees in her. Now, do the same search for Viola Davis and though you will see a superstar actress, you won't see a super model. Her images highlight her beautiful face and smile, and her many wig hair styles.

What I find so ironic with the L. A. Times Magazine is that finally a magazine editor chose to applaud a woman for just letting her true self show. Yes, Viola is decked out in an elegant designer ensemble, but it's her hair that is getting all the attention. The fact that she is not wearing a wig, but instead letting her natural hair show is stirring the conversation and trending on social media.

Why is that so refreshing? Because finally we can compliment someone for just being themselves and that's good enough. When I look at the magazine cover, I see a confident woman that's comfortable in her skin, and short hair. When a woman's hair is her beauty, Viola is saying my beauty goes beyond what you see. I'm afraid we're putting so much emphasis on the exterior that we're missing the beauty that comes from a deeper place. Yes, there will always be super models who get our attention, even for the wrong reason, but there's also that special image in all people that makes them super as well. We just need to let it out.

Let me encourage you to make a note to self the next time you're trying to measure up to some image of beauty our society is forcing on you: Don't let the pressure of looks keep you from being you. Walk in who God made you. Celebrate who you are, and be daring enough to simply be yourself. For that's the image everyone is waiting to see, the real you.

What will they come up with next? I'm talking book titles, or course. So Mary and I are watching the Today show the other day and they're interviewing the authors of a book titled, "Taming Your Alpha B_ _ _ h". How to be Fierce and Feminine (and Get Everything you Want). Did I say it was a book written by women for women? Watching the interview led by women, I was wondering if there were any men on the set and if so, how uncomfortable that shoot must have been.

At least that was my initial thought as a book with a title like this first made me think of the old, mean spirited feminine movement. But this is the ultimate example of you can't tell a book by it's cover...or at least it's title. Actually, the cover is quite classy with its beautiful pink high heel shoe. Even better is the content as authors Christy Whitman and Rebecca Grado have nailed it. Here's what you'll find on Amazon: "In many areas women have earned the equality we’ve been fighting for. We’ve broken through glass ceilings and achieved great success. We’ve shown that we can prosper by our own means. And we’ve become influential, respected leaders. Yet many of us find ourselves unhappy, anxious, overwhelmed. Where’s the pot of gold at the end of our “I can do it just like a man” rainbow?"

Honestly, I've been worried for my three daughters and their future as it seems like femininity has changed over the years, or at least it has for some in society that evidently have missed out on being a real woman. The women I'm surrounded by and work with everyday, and the ladies I've known all my life have never had to worry about their Alpha B_ _ _ _h, because they aren't one. Not that they're not fierce leaders in their own line of work, because each of them have accomplished great exploits and have done so while staying married and raising children, which shows you the fight they have on the inside of them. Yet it's their grace, sweet & gentle spirit with which they go about their work and lives that has allowed them to get what they want out of life.

I realize what I'm saying here will provoke some to cry foul and hate while claiming I'm a male chauvinist, but all I can say is the proof is seen in the women in my life. Has life been easy for them? Not at all, but to see how they dealt with the stuff that has come their way demonstrates a strength that comes from a place of beautiful grace and femininity. It's their Womanhood that makes them strong. All woman, all loving, all kind, all embracing and caring, and all able to handle life.

Less you think this is not true, I would invite you to check out a gathering of these courageous and beautiful women coming up this week. Over 600 of them will be gathering in South Florida from all over the US to celebrate their Womanity. One such woman is a Rabbi who left her homeland as a young girl and came to the United States to establish her life. Today she travels across the globe raising awareness and support for hospitals and orphanages in Israel. Another courageous beautiful woman has been able to fight through the challenges of the streets and drug addiction and today reaches into the inner city with a message of compassion and hope. She's also the mother of one of the NBA's brightest superstars. And another simply gorgeous woman is the one I get to sleep with every night. Talk about fierce...she stood there for over 40 minutes with great faith while I endured a Heart Attack a few years back, and while the paramedics hit me seven times with the pads just to keep me alive, she never gave up faith and prayed me through it all.

These women and many more like them each share some of the most inspiring lives as they've been able to tackle life head on with an inner strength that comes from the unique beings they were created to be. They're proud of their Womanity and embrace their femininity, not needing to compete with the men of society. They've encountered death, divorce, depression and heart-break, yet have remained strong in their skin of sweetness. The stuff they've had to endure will no doubt cause many of them to cry when they get together this week, but in and through their tears they'll find themselves even stronger.

I hope true femininity is making a comeback in our society, and evidently it is, as the numbers for the Womanity conference are climbing every day. It shows us that woman all over are looking for something more, after experiencing what society has tried to sell them. The future's looking up for my three little ladies!

True women of strength need to be honored and celebrated, so please share with me a story of the special ladies you have encountered in your life.

You could say it was the "Fumble heard around the World" this past Sunday when Kyle Williams of the San Francisco 49ers fumbled the kick-off return which allowed the New York Giants to kick the game winning field goal in overtime, sending the G-Men to another Super Bowl.

Not that I had any skin in this game, though I was leaning toward the 49's because they've had a great season with their new Coach and did more than anyone expected. Except for some fans of the team who took to twitter after the game with tweets like "@KyleWilliams_10 I wish death to you and your family."

If social media shows us anything it's that people need to think before they speak. Just because a thought may race through our mind, doesn't give us permission to express it. They're our thoughts and maybe some of them just need to be kept to ourselves. Anywho...

The next day I was speaking to a friend of mine who coaches at a prominent College football program and the fumble came up in our conversation. As he was speaking I thought about the many times he as a retired professional footballer had to endure a season that ended on a sour note. The coulda, woulda shoulda's of football. The "if only's" and "what if's." The more I thought about it I realized just how much life and sports seem to mirror each other.

How many times have we fumbled the ball in our relationships? How many business deals were missed because we fumbled the ball in the presentation? I'll tell you one thing; I'm so glad no one's following me around with camera's highlighting my fumbles! I love hearing the TV analyst covering the games tell us, with the aid of slow-motion replay, what the player did wrong and what they "should have done" differently. My first thought is, "Yeah, sounds so easy from our comfortable couches and high-tech announcer's booths." But it's never easy when you're in the heat of the game.

Most mishaps in sports occur when the player takes their eyes off of the ball. Somehow, their opponent got in their head or the bright lights of the moment gets them out of their game for a brief second, and instead of focusing on "first things first" like catching, shooting or hitting the ball, the athlete gets distracted and a mistake is made.

And maybe, just maybe, that's why fumbles are allowed to happen in life. Could it be life's way of helping us be better? A reminder that we're not all that great after all, and we need to keep on trying to do better? What are we looking at anyway, just our talent or are we also keeping a look at our hearts? Fumbles just might be the subtle reminder that true Champions have to keep a delicate balance in life between what you do (talents) and who you are (heart). Gifting can only take you so far. But a good, strong heart, takes you over the top.

If I was able to speak to Kyle Williams, I would look him in the eye and remind him that this is just one game...one season...one opportunity that is allowing him to see what he's really made of. True Champs know life is a Team Sport, and now is not the time to run, hide and go into lock-down. Now is the time to face your fumbles and make the right adjustments for next year.

So how do we handle the fumbles of life? (1) Keep life in perspective. (2) Be quick to forget. (3) Surround yourself with good teammates. (4) Learn to do better next time. (5) Stay focused on your strengths. And by all means, (6) Refuse to listen to fools.

If you had a chance to speak to Kyle Williams, what words of encouragement would you say to him?

Talk about feeling my age, the other day I did something that made me look and feel like a 51 year old guy, and I'm almost embarrassed to write about it. But that hasn't stopped me before, so here I go. Usually I'm pretty aware of my surroundings and the fact that I'm a "thinker" keeps me thinking through everything I do, but on Saturday in the attic above the garage I wasn't as I was in a hurry to quiet my wife and put away the Christmas decorations as fast as I could.

Christopher and I were in the attic. All I heard all morning was about how heavy these boxes were and how hard it was to put them away. I'm thinking to myself, "come on, it's not that hard. I've been doing it all these years by myself, you can handle it." Finally, Mary asks for my help. So I finished what I was doing, headed up the steps of the ladder and started grabbing boxes and straightening out the mess. "Who needs them anyway," I thought. "I should have handled this from the beginning and it would already be done."

As my son was handing me a box, I knew exactly where I was going to store it between the ceiling studs, so I grabbed it out of his hands, turned, took a step and boom, I did the unthinkable...I stepped right through the ceiling. With my leg dangling, Christopher runs to grab me and keep me from falling completely through, while Mary yells from the garage, "Wait, don't move." Like, where am I going to go. I'm stuck here. She then comes running back in with all three girls and what do they do? Laugh. And why did Mary want me to wait? She needed to get her phone so she could get the picture above. I guess you could say I really stepped in it that day.

I read this great story the other day from Mary's Uncle, Pastor David Arnold (www.davidarnoldonline.org).

Dallas Seminary was founded in 1924, and shortly afterwards, due to financial lack, it almost folded. It was nearing bankruptcy. The creditors were prepared to foreclose at 12:00 noon on a particular day. That morning, the founders of the school gathered in the president’s office to pray for God’s provision. During the prayer meeting, Harry Ironside prayed boldly, “Lord, we know that the cattle on a thousand hills are Thine. Please sell some of them and send us the money.” (Psalm 50:10)

About that same time, a tall Texan, with his large boots and hat, walked into the business office. “Howdy!” he expressed to the secretary. “I just sold two carloads of cattle over in Fort Worth. I’ve been trying to make a business deal go through, but it just won’t work. I feel God wants me to give this money to the seminary. I don’t know if you need it or not, but here’s the check,” handing it to her.

The secretary took the check, and, aware of the critical hour, went to the door of the prayer meeting and softly tapped. Dr. Lewis Sperry Chafer, the founder and president of the school, answered the door, and took the check from her. When he looked at the amount, it was for the exact amount of the debt. Then he recognized the name on the check as that of a cattleman. Turning to Dr. Ironside, he said, “Harry, God sold the cattle!”

Next time you come into a situation that causes you frustration, fear or confusion, the best and most safe step to take is in the direction toward God. It will keep you from pain, embarrassment and possibly even from having to clean up a mess your wrong step could have caused.

I've shared with you my wrong step, but tell me what steps you have taken to start this New Year off on the right foot?

This year my wife and I will celebrate being married for 25 years, but recently two pieces of jewelry could have put that winning record in jeopardy. Kind of ironic, really, that within three weeks of each other these foreign jewels would appear seemingly out of nowhere and though they didn't cause immediate damage, the ramifications could have been painful and have serious repercussions.

The first piece unearthed itself in the center compartment of my truck. As Mary and I were headed home after work a couple weeks before Christmas, we stopped off at the grocery store to pick up milk. Neither one of us had small bills on us for the quick one item pick-up, so I went for my hidden stash that I've stored up for times like these. I dropped her off at the front door so she could run in while I parked the car and went to cleaning out the trash that accumulates in the hidden region of automobile center compartment and came across a rope like looking necklace with a gold feather on it. I set it to the side as I went on cleaning figuring Mary would be happy to see her lost jewels. When she came back to the vehicle, first thing I said was, "look what I found?" And she replied; "That's not mine. Whose is it?" At first I didn't think or feel anything out of the ordinary as I assumed it belonged to one of my girls, until she asked again; "Whose is it?" Thankfully, as I looked her way, she was smiling.

The second piece of jewelry was a ring and it showed up in our bathroom just last week. When I saw it sitting on the counter I asked Mary whose it was and she didn't know. We assumed it belonged to our dear friend that helps us out around the house during the week. A couple days later while getting ready for bed Mary said to me; "Steve, I asked Mariela about the ring and she said it's not hers. She said she found it on the lamp stand next to our bed."

STOP. This moment right here is huge. Can't skim over it or even make light of it because it's at moments like this that marriages can end. Right here the 25 years we've spent together could have taken a hit, but it didn't because of one thing. Trust. Thankfully, over these last 25 years together both Mary and I have showed each other that we are trustworthy spouses so when something occurs that we don't have all the facts about, we don't turn on each other, but rather to each other. And that trust has been established in our relationship because over the years when life became difficult, we Truthfully Responded Under Stress Together and overcame the challenge. And so, the conversation ended right there and the search for who lost a ring that ended up in our bedroom continues.

I want 2012 to be a year of building Championship Lives and my goal is to provide the resources to those around me to help them do just that. One discipline true Champs embrace is taking personal responsibility for their lives, as they know if it's to be...then it's up to me. So here's the question on this day: Are you a trustworthy person? Can others put their faith in you and their money on you? Make this a year that when the going gets tough, you'll be the kind of person that Truthfully Responds Under Stress Together with those around you so you can live the #Champlife.

Tell me something about you. Where's your strength zone that others trust you in?

One of the things I look forward to with the New Year is the chance to do a re-boot on my life. As much as I think I have it all together, I realize certain areas can use definite improvement and January 1st gives me that opportunity.

My line of work allows me to realize I'm not alone in this. Each week I see brave people who have looked at their lives and said "I want to be better." Life is no doubt good for them, but they're wanting great. Greater love in their relationships, greater success in their careers, greater fulfillment and joy out of life. That's how humanity has been hard wired, so the New Year is always celebrated with that thought in mind as it gives us the chance of a do-over.

My oldest daughter and I were up early this week to watch the sunrise and as we were waiting for the sun to make it's appearance over the Eastern sky line, I watched her play with her hair, as she always does. I thought about correcting her with a "stop playing with your hair" as is my customary scolding, but stopped just short of blurting out the words. I thought back to my early "bad habits" that haunted my own life when I was her age. First, it was biting my nails in my teens as I would chew nervously until blood would flow. Then, in my twenties I picked up twirling my hair, and even find myself reverting from time to time now that I'm in my 50's. My wife Mary was the one doing the scolding then.

Biting nails or playing incessantly with one's hair may simply be a nervous twitch to some people, but let's face it, there are much more damaging habits or hang-ups that could be causing us serious set backs in our lives. Because of my line of work, I get to rub shoulders with courageous people regularly who are making the adjustments in their lives for the better. I shook hands with one of them just a couple of weeks ago, and after I had complimented him on how well he was looking he leaned in and told me that he had been cigarette free for two weeks, pot free for three months, and alcohol free for six months. Talk about hero status. As he walked away with his beautiful wife in hand and two gorgeous children, I thought to myself, "now that's a true champion."

Sitting on the beach watching the sunrise this week, it was cold, dark and windy. We had checked our iPhones to see the exact time the sun was going to rise and with a few minutes to spare we waited. Before we knew it, boom, there the sun appeared and quickly took it's place in the horizon with its beams bouncing off the Atlantic. We sat in awe for those few minutes amazed at the beauty of God's creation as it seemed all of nature stood still for just a brief minute to greet the golden life giver. I immediately could sense a change occur as the temperature became warmer and the wind died down a bit. Seemingly, the sun with it's arrival announced it's a new day and all of nature took notice with a beautiful response.

2012 is a New Year, January a New Month, and today is a New Day with a new set of opportunities. Make the most of this new beginning and break free from the behaviors that are limiting and hindering you. They tell us that a new habit is formed the moment a new decision is made, so today make that decision to make the clean break. Before you know it, others will begin taking notice of the true Champion that's in you.

I'd like to share with you two resources that I know will encourage you. First is a song my wife Mary recorded entitled "Pressing On" which is available to you now as a free download. Secondly, join me for the "12/12/12 Building a Championship Life" event this weekend, January 7th (6:00 PM) & 8th (9:00 & 11:00 AM) at www.metrolifechurch.cc. The highlight will be a burning ceremony where we'll say goodbye to the past so we can embrace the future. Everyone needs a do-over every now and then since we're all humans. I shared a couple of my nagging bad habits above, how about you? What are some of yours?