Steve Alessi: Author of Alessi’s Angle, Pastor of Metro Life Church in Miami, Husband of World Renown Worship Leader Mary Alessi and Father of Four. The "Roll" of Influence
The table
was set in very modest decor at "The Mecca" restaurant and I was
looking for a bottle of hand sanitizer as I was seated with a large group of
friends. You know how that works when you're at a place that isn't really clean
or dirty; just old. Well, according to their sign, good 'ole "Mecca"
had been "waking up Dallas" since the turn of the century, which was
odd because there weren't any cars of awake Texans parked outside. It did seem
however that some of the patrons inside might have attended their grand opening
in 1903. We were escorted upstairs to a group dining area in this 100 year old
house-turned-restaurant and I found myself following the leader and picking a
seat. Even as a very UN-finicky eater... I was quite curious to see just how many
unwelcome guests would accompany my scrambled eggs.
Somehow,
according to someone in the group, having breakfast at "The Mecca"
was a must!! Maybe tradition or folklore or someone else's great experience.
I'm thinking it was a sort of breakfast Russian Roulette, where if you made it
out alive you could etch another notch in your belt. "Wait 'til you see
the Cinnamon Rolls" was the talk of the table. Funny, only two or three in
the group of twenty had ever been to "The Mecca", but the entire
party was already convinced that the cinnamon rolls where "to die
for"; not exactly the description I wanted to hear. However, the famous
(or infamous) rolls were already ordered along with a family style breakfast. I
must admit that I was starting to silently admire a place that would serve
cinnamon rolls as an appetizer to any meal so I went along with the group's
decisions.
Each roll
was the size of a monster truck tire; they smelled heavenly and looked even
better as the waitress placed one roll centered to every four people at the
table. They were perfectly baked, delicately glazed and literally wading in a
visible pool of butter. Now, I don't know what your mouth just did during this
description, but if was anything like what my mouth did.... just get a napkin
and strap it to your chest. Suddenly, the surroundings became unimportant, hand
sanitizer became an after-thought and focus hit me like a ton a bricks; it's
one of those moments where you regret being taught how to share.
Immediately,
the voice of reason began to surface into my thoughts. "Do you realize
that you will be ingesting 250 calories every time a utensil-full hits your
palette?" That's without the mandatory butter-dip that will take place
before leaving the plate of course. So, while that voice was arguing with my
more tangible senses, I dug in. Needless to say, we devoured that mountain of
gooeyness in record time, but halfway through that roll is where the idea for
this blog came to mind.
I noticed
that we would all look at each other between each bite, during the very short
pauses of politeness, to see what the other person's next move was going to be.
As my insides were screaming, "Nooooooooo" my desire was making all
the decisions and the only encouragement I needed was someone else going in for
another piece. I even heard, "Alright I'm done" from the some of the
guys as they pushed the plate away; but as long as someone went for another
piece; we all followed. No one was "done"...we cleared our buttery
delight; as well as the leftovers from two other plates that the ladies could
not convince themselves to finish. Before the main course had even hit the
table we had indulged ourselves to complete fullness. We had consumed five
monster truck tire cinnamon rolls and they were GOOOOOD!!! Just not good for
us.
And I
thought, isn't this how life is at times? We know that there's something better
for us; something healthy, around the corner. The main course is on its way; a
plate that will not only fulfill us but nourish us at the same time...yet we
over-indulge on what is harmful. And one of the primary forces behind doing
what we know is not best for us is the pressure of our peers. I remember in my
younger years my mom always saying, "...and because everybody else is
doing it means that you have to do it too?". Funny how the battle against
outside pressure still exists in adulthood.
Have you
ever experienced the dilemma of deciding against the crowd? Have you ever
pursued something unhealthy because your decision making was influenced in some
way? Those cinnamon rolls were absolutely delicious, but they did have consequences and I
can say that I might have stopped had there not been others around to
"inspire" me to continue. In the end, the decision is always ours but
the atmosphere and company we keep has tremendous influence.
This week's blog was written by Armando Gomez.
This week's blog was written by Armando Gomez.
Quicksand of Success
I
couldn't understand why the little guy was able to push me around the football
field like he did. All I knew was that he was making me look real bad in front
of the other guys and coaches! I guess I wasn't the athlete I thought I was.
Here I am just starting High School and trying to make the Junior Varsity
football team at Coral Park when I quickly discovered that I wasn't the
"little moose" my neighborhood friends told me I was. These other
guys my age were a little tougher than my two sisters and my buddies on the
block, and this football program was a lot more difficult to play than the
touch football we used to play in the street.
Though I
was a pretty strong, little stocky (and cocky I might add) guy, my coaches were
all up in my face because I couldn't block the opposing lineman. Finally, after
getting chewed out for the umpteenth time, one of my coaches came over and said
to me: "Alessi, you're not low enough. Get yourself low and drive through
the guy." Next play, the problem was solved and a great lesson was learned
that has stayed with me since. Success comes in life when we get and keep
ourselves low. I'm referring, of course, to humility.
Borrowing
from Pastor David Arnold of Gulf Coast Worship Center and his Morning Muse, he
writes an article entitled “Head Weight”:
There is a story of the mighty Roman general, Titus, who
conquered Palestine after waging a long and fierce campaign against the Jewish
people. The Jews displayed tremendous courage, and sacrificed greatly in their
defense of their homeland. Titus boasted that he was stronger than the God of
Israel. “If it were
otherwise,” he said, “I
would have never been victorious over the people of Israel.”
Then a voice was heard to say, “Titus, you fool!
You are a slave to vanity! Do you really believe that you are mightier than
God? Why, you will be destroyed by the smallest creature by God.”
Soon afterwards, an insect of microscopic size entered his nostril. It could
not be removed. Infection followed simple irritation, and eventually it
destroyed him.
In India, there is a word for those who are conceited and
proud. They say they have “head weight.”
Paul speaks of those who become “puffed up with
pride” (1 Timothy 3:6). This is all
one word in the Greek. It comes from typhos, “smoke,”
and so literally means “wrap in smoke,”
or “besmoked”
pride that covers him like a fog. It also means “delude,”
which leads to being “filled with
insane arrogance.”
A gourd wound itself around a lofty palm, and in a few
weeks climbed to its very top. “How old are you?”
asked the newcomer. “About a hundred
years.” “About
a hundred years and no taller! Look, I have grown as tall as you in a few days,
that took you years.” “I
know very well,” replied the
palm. “Every summer of my life a gourd
has climbed up around me as proud as you are, and as short-lived as you will
be!”
He ends
with a great quote that serves as a reminder to get and stay low in life. “Conceit is the quicksand of success.”
The Flattery in Imitation
I have lived
in the same home for almost my entire life. When I was about 6-8 months old,
Hurricane Andrew hit Miami, and out of that we were able to move into the house
that we still live in to this day.
Our house has
had a lot of work done over the years, from remodeling to different colors of
paint. One year, I don’t exactly remember when, but we decided to add on to the
house. My sister Gaby had been born, and now we needed more space. So my
parents decided to add another two bedrooms to our house. We busted out one of
the big windows that we had at the time, and put a big white sheet over it
leading to the outside. One day, my sisters and I went out to play and saw two sky scraping mountains of dirt in our backyard. This pile probably wasn’t as big
as I remember, but I was only 8 so cut me some slack.
While my
sisters were there, we would run up the dirt and imagine ourselves climbing Mt.
Everest or sliding down an avalanche. I distinctly remember imagining myself as
a pirate, Captain Hook to be precise and chasing after my sisters up and down
this pile of dirt. We imitated every possible character we knew from Ace
Venture to Mr. Incredible. But when my sisters finally went inside and no one
else was around, I had a specific character that I would always imitate.
More than Dan
Marino, Spiderman, or Captain Hook, I would love to imitate my dad. I would
walk around the pile of dirt as if I was walking along the stage at Metro Life
Worship Center, as it was called at the time. I would make a few opening
comments, very similar to my dad’s opening comments every single week. I would
start off by saying, “Welcome to Metro Life Worship Center. If you don’t know
me, I’m Steve Alessi, the Pastor here at Metro along with my wife Mary.” I
would quote the very illustration my dad had used that Sunday, and sometimes my
little 8 year old spirit would do it’s best to come up with it’s own revelation.
So at the end
of the day, I wanted to be Pastor Steve Alessi. Every chance I got, I would
imitate my dad as much as I could. And little did I know that 12 years later I
would be doing the very same thing, not just in my imagination but in reality.
Charles Caleb
Cotton said, “Imitation is the finest form of flattery.” And on Father’s Day, I
can find no better way to honor my father then to continue imitating him in
every area of my life. I am who I am today because of my dad and I owe him the
world. Even when I was just an 8 year old kid, I knew my dad was the exact kind
of man that I wanted to be. And now as a 20 year old, I can still say with the
utmost certainty; I want to be Pastor Steve Alessi.
I can testify
that Pastor Steve Alessi is the same man in and out of the pulpit. Today I
honor my father, my Pastor and my best friend, not just by writing a blog, but
by imitating him. And today I continue to honor him by carrying on his legacy. Happy
Father’s Day from one very lucky son.
Grade A Graduates
My niece, Angela Giarratana, who is not so little anymore, is one of the graduates this 2012 graduating class has produced. Looking at the pictures text'd over by my parents, she radiates a peace that I haven't seen in her when we would gather for the holidays and family vacations. She's actually smiling and her eyes are free from the "gotta do's" of school that always awaited her back home in California. Now she get's a short reprieve before she hits it again in the bigger, more challenging environment of UCLA. But all that can wait until August. For now, she's accomplished one of the greatest crowning achievements of her young life and she deserves to be celebrated.
I think we have this one right in life when it comes to graduating from High School. The lesson is this; when you do the work and put in the sacrifice then you'll be recognized for your labors and promoted to your next challenge. It's the equivalent of the playoff series in sports, as special recognition is given to those athletes who win. Trying is honorable, but winning and completing the journey you set out on is commended. Sure, there are many more games to be played next season, but for right now it's time to enjoy your success.
When I sat in a restaurant recently I was very impressed by the young server who seemed to understand this valuable lesson of work and reward. It was rather obvious this job was not his career choice and just side work to get him by financially to cover some bills and that his real job was in the College classroom at a local campus preparing himself for his future. Yet the same heart that he put into his future was also being displayed as he served my meal, giving great attention to see to it I was taken care of. There was no problem dropping a healthy tip to this young man because he seemed to value putting in the hard work that would someday lead to being promoted.
It's young men and women like this that show me our future looks so bright. Sure, we'll always have the free-loaders that want to jump on the bandwagon of progress and demand their place just because they put in the time and tried really hard. But when it comes to advancement and promotion one must do more than just show up and try hard. This kind of success requires pulling the all-nighter to be ready for that test and pass. Miami Heat President & General Manager, Pat Riley says it likes this. "Being ready isn't enough; you have to be prepared for a promotion."
By the looks of things in my little corner of the world, I'm seeing more and more of these young adults appear on the stage of life and this year some are graduating from High Schools and Universities across America, and thus deserve to be honored. One of those bright minds is the beautiful, hard-working, Princeton Graduate, Cristina Martinez. I've known this young lady since the day she was born and watched her competitive nature push her to succeed in and out of the classroom throughout her life. Today she stands with the elite of our day. So, to all those who have successfully completed your requirements for graduation, it's time for you to take your bow and enjoy your moment in the sun. You have earned the right to be promoted and that has made so many that love you proud.
Is there a graduate you would like to honor today? Take a minute to share this blog with them and post a congratulatory comment below.
Blondes Have More Fun
I read
this cute little story about two little boys who were standing in the church
lobby after Sunday School one day. As they were talking a pretty little girl
from their class walked by them. One of the little guys said to the other,
"When I quit hating girls, she's the first one I'm going to quit
hating." Well, I remember the first girl I ever fell for and she was my
mom, Ann Alessi. I would like to dedicate this blog to her as she celebrates
another birthday.
I'm not
sure exactly when she decided to stay with the blonde hair, I just recall how
it made me feel on our trip to Mexico City when I was a young teenager. Our
family didn't take many trips back then as finances were tight and dad just
couldn't stand to be away from the Church, so this vacation was a pretty big
deal for us all. Yet only two things about the trip stand out in my mind. Bull
fights and the fact that my mom with her blonde hair got the attention of way
too many Mexican men. It drove me crazy and I can remember being mad at my dad
when we would walk down the busy streets and he would be ten paces ahead. I
felt like it was my duty to walk next to my mother to try and protect her from
the whistles and jeers of the men who would drive by.
Truth is,
my mom rarely needed anyone to protect her, as she's always been a strong
woman. Another trip we took as a family had us high up in the Colorado
Mountains. The day's adventure took us tubing, snowmobiling on a guided
excursion, and the evening was spent around a big campfire and barbecue. When
we arrived at the snowmobiles, I recall a discussion as to how dad & mom
wanted to ride together, but that was quickly decided against by mom because
she wanted to ride one by herself. So off we all went up the mountain and
through the snow filled wooded terrain with my sisters and their husbands following
close behind the guide. And once again I found myself in the rear close to mom
and wouldn't you know it, she rode that thing like a pro...that is until we hit
this turn and for some reason she didn't turn at all, but instead drove that
snowmobile right off the path and into a huge ditch of snow. We all jumped off
our rides with screams of "mom" and rushed to her side to only find
her laying packed in the snow laughing at herself. Funny thing was, when we
finally righted the snowmobile and helped her back to her feet, we pulled back
the hood from her coat and sure enough, not a single hair was out of place. Her
blonde hair was just perfect.
Now you
need to know that if there's one thing we can joke about with mom, it's her
blonde hair. Though we've come a long way since the Mexico City vacation in the
70's and have been through challenges that have changed us as a family, the one
thing that hasn't changed is mom's hair. It doesn't matter where we are or what
we're doing, we can always point her out in the crowd just by looking for her
blonde hair. Such was the case last year when she and dad went out to
California to see the premier of my sister Debbie's first movie, Machine Gun
Preacher. On the red carpet, right behind Gerard Butler, you can pin point mom
in the picture with her blonde hair. And, of course for those who know her, if
you ever need mom on Saturday morning around 11:00 AM, you'll find her at the
beauty shop getting her hair done. Same time, same color, same style, ever
since we can all remember.
Thankfully
our family has enjoyed a lot more great vacations and have fought through
serious opposition that would fill a book full of victorious stories of faith.
Due to the private nature of the ministry, so many of those stories have never
been told, but if they were, the constant through each of them would be the
strong constitution of my mother. No matter what we faced, it was always her
goal to get us through it so we can just be together as a family and have fun.
So on
this her birthday, I wish to say to her publicly, THANK YOU Mom!
Thank
you...
- For your high tolerance of pain, which has taught your family to never quit, no matter how tough things may get.
- For your devotion and dedication to your 50 plus years of marriage, so much that Debbie & Darlene and I still remain married to the loves of our youth.
- For the Godly heritage of faith that's been passed down to your grandchildren (Alessi, Giarratana & Rivera).
- For staying active and always being the beautiful blonde that just wants all of us to be together and have fun.
Happy
Birthday from all your kids!
Debbie,
Ray, Angela & John
Darlene,
Robin, Rob, Daniel & Nick
Steve,
Mary, Christopher, Stephanie, Lauren & Gabrielle
Anyone
else interested in wishing Ann Alessi a Happy Birthday...
Lesson from a Mop Bucket
My new
morning schedule includes giving Stasia some freedom from her pups in the backyard
while I tend to feeding and cleaning up around the "den", which
usually takes a good hour. Once the pups have their belly full, they're back in
the pool sleeping and I give the place a good sweep and mop. After I was done
today I noticed a horrible odor in the room and it just wouldn't go away. Some
of you know the bad aversion to smelly odors that I've blogged about in the
past, so we have taken strides to keep the place smelling clean with a fan for
cross ventilation, candles and a nice decorative citronella burning bowl for
both mosquitoes and odors. But none of that was helping kill the terrible
smell. As I followed my nose throughout the garage I quickly discovered the
problem was the mop. What I thought was helping me clean the place was actually
stinkin it up because I didn't change the mop water. So back again I went with
a cleaner mop and the problem was resolved.
That mop
bucket reminds me of the importance of having a good attitude in life. We all
go about our days working and rubbing shoulders with people, sharing our
thoughts and opinions on matters that we're dealing with, but what is our
attitude spreading around? Are we cleaning up the joint or making it smell bad?
After
spending the weekend with our dear friend Ret General Becky Halstead
(@Becky_Halstead), I was most impressed by her fresh, upbeat, "you are
special and you can make it" attitude. Though she never actually said
these exact words to me personally, when she was back on the plane headed home
to Virginia, I had that exact feeling about myself. Her attitude spruced up the
place and everybody in her presence.
It was
Dale Carnegie that was quoted as saying, "Happiness doesn't depend on any
external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude." Another
writer, John Mitchell has said, "Our attitude toward life determines
life's attitude towards us." And from the wisdom of Solomon, "As a
man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
I have
found that my attitude walks in a room way before I ever do and if I'm not
careful it will leave a bad odor when I make my exit. Well, the good news is I
can change my attitude and it will make a huge difference. Just like that mop
bucket was the key to freshening up the garage, so too is our attitude. Maybe
we just need to change the contents of our mop bucket to fresh, positive
thoughts and feelings about life and the issues we are facing. If we do, then
our dealings with money & the economy, marriage & relationships, our
job & career, and even our relationship with God will be overwhelmingly
influenced for the good by our attitude. So make the decision today to think
right, see right and live right and you'll be amazed at how life will suddenly
start to feel right.
I know we
all enjoy good quotes, so can you share with me your favorite quote on
attitude?
The General is Coming
Early on
I realized that no matter my position, I would constantly be in the classroom
learning and developing because I was always being introduced to new
environments that were placing a demand on my leadership abilities. As one of
my old buddy's used to say, “New levels, new devils,” and sure enough with every advancement I was faced with
who I wasn't. So, a life-long journey has ensued because I know there's still
more to be accomplished and experienced in life.
What
about you? Have you ever wrestled with yourself? Are there leadership hurdles
you're encountering that are causing you to question yourself and your own
abilities? I'd like to borrow a lesson from Success Coach Lolly Daskal (www.lollydaskal.com) who I follow on Twitter @lollydaskal.
What Are
Your Limits? What's Holding You Back From Success?
Think
about your personal limits for a moment. Think about the things that are
standing between you and success. Write them down. List the barriers that will
prevent you from achieving your personal purpose. Then, take that note and fold
in half. Set it aside for a few moments.
Nothing
you wrote down is a barrier to success. None of those notes are a reason for
you to fail. They are not real limits. They are something else. They're
excuses. They are BS. Belief Systems that are keeping you playing and being
small.
You see,
the only real limits are internal. The only thing that can stop you from living
your passion and feeling a remarkable sense of achievement, wholeness and
success are self-imposed limits. You have the ability to make all of those
"reasons" you can't succeed disappear. Instantly. It's all a matter
of perspective and a willingness to recognize your infinite potential. You can
be the person you want to be. You have the power to make that decision. Your
limits are of your own making. Start removing them now. Take your list. Rip it into
shreds. It's time to move past excuses. It's time to say goodbye to limits and
hello to moving forward with your life.
Will
there be challenges? Of course. There will be setbacks and minor failures.
There will be changes and adjustments. There will be times when you have your
doubts. But there will never be a hurdle you can't clear and there will never
be a limit you can't break if you trust in yourself and your purpose.
Isn't
that good? When I first ripped my "list" of perceived limitations in shreds
the word RIP hit me hard. May all those excuses Rest In Peace. No longer will
they hold me back from being the leader God's created me to be.
If you
live in South Florida, another inspiring leader will be sharing her life and
secrets to successful leadership this weekend at Metro Life Church (www.metrolifechurch.com). Ret General Becky Halstead (www.beckyhalstead.com) was the first female graduate of West Point to be
promoted to General Officer, and served and commanded in combat as the first
female Commanding General at the strategic level of leadership in Iraq-leading
20,000 Soldiers and 5,000 civilians from 2005 to 2006 - a first for our Army
and our Nation. Check out the website for details of the program.
So what hurdles or personal limits are standing between you and success?
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